Tracy's exemplar:
Success Criteria:
- Writing is in chronological order
- Write in the past tense
- Include strong verbs
- Use first or third person
- Include details to add interest to reader
- Use time connectives; next, meanwhile, within hours, soon afterwards
- Link the conclusion to the introduction
It didn’t matter that the sun wasn’t shining. Who cared? Golden rays of sunshine were not necessary for this exciting activity that the Inwood family was about to embark on. As the speed boat motored out across the undulating blue expanse, smiles on dials reflected the feeling of the whanau.
After half an hour, Sam, their driver, signalled that they had reached their destination. On the surface, nothing indicated the treasure trove they were about to discover below.
Donning the necessary equipment, Kate was ready first, and gracefully slipped over the side of the vessel into the ocean. Jonny and Phil quickly followed suit, leaving Tracy struggling with her floppy flippers. Minutes later, Tracy joined her family overboard. However, as she swam towards her husband, she felt a prickling sensation on her arms. It felt like she was being shocked by hundreds of tiny electric currents. Alarmed, she called out to Phil, who reassured her that she was swimming through a swarm of pesky sea lice, and that further ahead the water was fine.
Meanwhile, Kate and Jonny had powered ahead, and all that could be seen of them were their blue snorkels poking out of the sea like submarine periscopes. They had discovered the coral reef, and were gleefully exploring the underwater garden, pointing out wonders to each other. Blue starfished extended their spiny arms, hiding ineffectively. Transparent, black striped fish darted by, very close to the surface. A deadly black and white banded sea snake slithered peacefully over the sandy bottom, keeping to itself. It was almost impossible to track the multitude of colourful fish, floating lazily or swimming with purpose through the coral reef.
An hour snuck by, and soon the underwater spectators were being recalled to the boat by Sam. It was a quick dash through the stinging lice to reach safety. Clambering aboard, flopping onto the deck like seals, everyone stripped off their snorkel gear, ready to continue with the adventure of the day.
When you visit Fiji, it would be wrong not to go snorkelling. Combining the silent peacefulness of being underwater, with the close proximity of so many beautiful fish, is truly uplifting. Flying freely among such stunning marine animals is an experience not to be missed!
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